Days of peace, love and music

vein_melter @ 2006-08-09T17:44:00

2006-08-09T21:47:18Z

uhh, its the first time ive looked at livejournal in a looong time and i regret it, i dont think i am going to write here ever again, i dont want to write things like people on here write i guess its too stereotypical

alfaro vive carajo

2006-06-18T20:25:40Z

if the walls could speak i would tell them everything

i have observed in many people an arrogant way of thinking of their own lives and life in general as better than everyone elses. hollow ideals and a selfishness paralleled to that of the truly ignorant and arrogant. closed eyes do not change anything, they look inward and see a hollow shell but outward the shell is golden and floats above others. they think they are always right and have the clearest view of reality when in fact their eyes remain shut. yet they hear no reason or outside objective judgement reality for them is what they make it and nothing else unparallel to actual reality. Also this hollowness of the person forces them to take out their displeasure in themselves on other people, irrationality their tools with closed ears and dry tears they cry. then the sigh why are things like this, they ask, why do not things change why doesnt the world change surely i am not doing anything, i must run away for this place does not accept me.

a bronze statue with legs for running but strength not to confront. change must come from within yet it this desire to change is supressed by the bearer and nothing changes, the same problems recur without resolution, stagnant mire of hatred and filth, why must things be this way and it continues the same

noone is better than anyone else or deserves mkore than anyone else, know what im saying?

lost my headache

2006-06-04T17:54:06Z

its amazing how almost 20 hours of awake drunkenness can seem like a blur, i had fun though lots of it, i think, i think i puked out of exaustion i danced alot. slept alot, did not eat much but last night i dreamt about food, haha. shit im tired anyway hope it was as fun for everyone

vein_melter @ 2006-05-29T17:33:00

2006-05-29T21:48:03Z

Check out this interview, i think youll like this alex he says alot o things you talk about, hell alot of things i think about.

and this interviewer is intelligent unlike 99% of journalists and asks him cool questions, i read this other interview with them and the questions were so stupid and you could tell that they were annoyed.

i got a full size mirror in my room, its kindof destructive makes you a bit too self obsessed, me anyway cause when i look in a mirror i see this person i never seen before and i wonder what he looks like, so i end up staring cause its myself, i dunno its wierd,

i think its a hit is my favorite WAS song its just too damn good, i always get hit, nananana na na na (cool drumroll)

john theodore

2006-05-18T23:57:59Z

look at my new pic, its so cool all blue and you can see cedric in the background, shit, his pants is lowriding you can tell hes about to pump some mad beats.

i learned this apparitions, too insane, and im starting to understand this one part in take the veil i had trouble understanding, i dont wanna brag but shit if i can understand that shit i must be getting good at drums, i mean fuck

i mcant wait for the concert tyhe 26th, get tickets from me you should come, i really want to share my drumming with everone.

you must have been phlegmatic in stature

2006-05-14T20:25:52Z

ughh, boring ass redundant shit, life so boring and repeating right now, i just feel like i need a change even though everythings alright, what i really need is for school to be over and to be rid of this stagnant position.

im so bored and uninspired, tired of talking i want to do, i need to get away from my parents for like a week, i just want to forget about everything, i want sleep, i want peace, i want music, i dont know what i want

i realised in the past few days that all i actually want to do is play and write music all day long every day, just never stop it brings me too much joy and peace i speak of, then on sunday when i get home im always so bummed cause thats what im not doing

can you hear the helicopter

2006-05-04T19:39:54Z

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

so this is what i listen to most and it makes sense, there should be queens but i always listen to full queens albums so they dont show up on iutunes top 25, but their there in thought at least

vein_melter @ 2006-05-01T20:10:00

2006-05-02T00:11:26Z

i think ive decided on uoft, major in biochemistry, i just dont know what to minor in? any suggestions, i was thinking genetics, or neuroscience, anthropology or possibly psychology,

axis bold as love you see

2006-04-23T23:57:23Z

my lit response and possible my english thing

A thousand bodies rot from repression
Agrarian seeds do not sprout plants
Unearthed from shallow graves
Planted from the deep of the soul
Cries in the night unheard
Measured in pounds of bananas
Slap the wrist of the people for their wrong
The navel streams blood from rehired scabs

The cross does not save, the eagle does
The carcass weight of the dollar
Backed by a mountain of greed
Isolated hatred wounds the bearer
Cries for freedom deflected on black shields
Cries for humanity feed red tides
Bodies dumped into the ocean
Sugarcane suits feed on the cuticles

Exoskeleton of hope
Frail existence, chronic revolt
Patent shoes halt progress
Re-wrought bullets kill a man but ideas live on
Live to be ignored
Black birds fed on resilience
Crops nurtured by hate and flesh
The acrid fruit burns their throats

El cabron miente a dios
El testigo de humanidad perdido en rios de sangre
Dame respeto, da nos libertad
El grito del pueble no suena
Odio para la vos, los brazos silven mejor
Pero, cortan los brazos, sacan la lengua
Todo por nada sin esperanza, sin dios
El conche de la voz se calle en la grama

Red flies round the ideals
Flies stained red, bleed from their eyes
With no teeming progress, our cries stagnant
Rotting flesh does not move to action
Nothing has changed

in denial...

2006-04-17T19:06:34Z

manos me recuerdo solamente a ti te odio, yo ya me voy

concertina is an amazing song, its fucking crazy plus the drumming is sooo good, i just wanted to post a poem i wrote for english cause i kinda like it

Your shackled carress
Entreats wide acres of restraint
To eat of your fruit in the summer
Thoughts fall upon my head
Pounding the red through to my heart
Try to catch the birds that fly away
Only dream of their breath on soft mounds of earth
Dream and want the passion that comes with their touch
Slick sheaths unscab my wounds
Reverse the ground, love to love

Reverse the ground, love to love
Slick sheaths unscab my wounds
Dream and want the passion that comes with their touch
Only dream of their breath on soft mounds of earth
Try to catch the birds that fly away
Pounding the red through to my heart
Thoughts fall upon my head
To eat of your fruit in the summer
Entreats wide acres of restraint
Your shackled carress

[edit]
porque no hay nadien que habla espanol, yo le deje pasar dos nena's bonitas y ceheveres por mi estupideza, latinos son muy locos

i like spanish, its sick,

and nothing changes as always

2006-04-10T23:21:31Z

even thlough i had a good weekend and it was my birthday and life is looking good i still woke up today with that solemn hatred for the world.

why does nothing change, ive just been wanting booze all the time, all day today i needed a nice stiff drink, i wish i had a nice persy 40 of bombay to drown my sorrows in.

all i need is one thing, yet it eludes me, why i know not, its probably mostly my fault i mena it is readily available i just dont grasp it...

anyway this is a pretty good mood to write my english poem in, i like this unit, its fairly cool, i wonder if i will end up reading it tomorrow, i was kiinda flattered last class when i was so prompted to read one of mine, but it was unfortunately crapy, anyway

at least i have waking up at 6 and playing volleyball to look forward to, and im not being sarcastic

you take the veil, you take the dive

2006-04-04T19:37:32Z

now im lost
now im lost

im feeling very solemn lately, kinda sad and not lonely, solemn. ive been reading one hundred years of solitude and i love it.

i read about all the characters and their all really solemn sad and proud, and it is a book about south american peoples. i find many of the traits these characters have in me. i like it though, im really glad im half south american, i just wish i kinda looked it more, had darker skin and a nicer south american face, im also glad that i dont have some of the worse traits of south american men, mhrhmmm.

south americans have some very nice physical features, especially in the face, the sad proud solemn look is cool, thats why im not too bummed about feeling this way, i kinda like it, i am too introverted, its nice to feel distanced from everything, but this feeling longs for more solitude, and thats what many characters in OYOS do, they just shut themselves of from the world.

its such passion though, how i feel now is passionate too, were i to make love right now it would be pretty passionate, doing anything i enjoy would be passionate right now

i wish people would just show their real emotions, even i cannot show my true emotions, i jsut hope my eyes give it away, but still its difficult in society to be true and free to what you feel, its interesting how everyone perceives each other, what you see onn the outside and what you wonder they are thinking.

i wish everyone knew what everyone thought all the time, not what they think but what they feel, how they feel. i dont understand how our simple natural brain function, chemicals setting off chemicals, can create things like what im writing now, conciousness

can i pose a question, this shit i write does anyone find it interesting? cause some people have long posts but they are boring, is this boring? be honest, i really dont care, and really be honest isnt that one of the themes of his post?

left hand suzuki method

2006-03-30T23:00:10Z

reader discretion is advised due to high levels of emo

man for some reason lately ive been feeling alot of self loathing. for no reason i just kinda hate myself and everything about, i dont understand it, why cant i just be happy with nmyself, why do i hate myself and why does this feeling comebackk,

i read ghost world, its fuckin sick. made me apreciate alt/nerdy girls so much more, not appreciate, like alot. haha. clowes is a genious he knows how to write about nothing and make it superb,

ive also gained a sort of love for sandman, i find myself wishing i was sandman/morpheus/kai'ckul it would be so ill.

i just want to sleep and not wake up and not ahve to think of anything again, my mind feels overworked and i have a headache i need one of dem mental health days, oh shit and the rag is over with, sucks balls nothing to look forward to nothing to look back on life is bleak,

sigh, even music and playing drums is starting to loose its color and vitality, everything seems like its fading slowly like a picture

booring

2006-03-26T20:30:55Z

soo booring it just keeps repating over and over again, im getting tired and bored of it all ughh, at l;east its getting somewhat warm.

i just been bored of life lately nothing interests me i dont care, its all the same its all desire...

this weekend has been pretty good, one of the best in a while hopefully they all get better from now on, i dont have money for semi so i dont think im going, kinda spent it on friday but whatever

found this on my camera, i love those pants, i think ill wear them tomorrow with my penguins if its warm enough, i just dont have a shirt to wear with em ill figure something out though

vista lite

2006-03-20T02:31:17Z

i want you so bad, i would make love to you every day and i would take care of you with all my heart, in return you would fullfill my wildest dreams, and make me better

its sop beutiful i saw it in the store i wanted it right away

its me josh, easy easy

2006-03-17T00:41:16Z

"never let a woman handle your peice"

thats from the best movie ever, chuck norris ex nam vet, takes on the chinese mob, strippers, roundhouse kicks, vietnamese brothels, big chinese, big silver gun.

we were flipping between that and americas next top model and one shot really stuck in my mind from ANTP. one of the vunts was going to a swimsuit shoot in a freezer, and she had a grip walking beside her, it was a really good contrast between reality and fantasy.

theres this tall skinny almost alien looking thin stick. remember in episode 2 those aliens that make the clone army, their super tall and lanky well yeah the model was like that. and beside her this short plumpish regular looking girl. i dunno how thats significant but it really stuck in my mind, it was a cool image.

but shit most of those models arent even that hot, their too skinny, too tall, and their kinda hunched forward like hags, it just doesnt look good with their emaciated frames. i dunno i like it when girls are thin but the girls on ANTP are just i dont even know, they seem unproportional, i mean they have wicked bodies when you see them in swim suits nice and long and lean, and if they arch their backs it all looks nice, but their everyday look is kinda gross, especially the hunched shoulders, all of them had it and none of them had the boobs to cause that, i dont even know

plus their all too tall, uhh that show is perverted, there was a scene in a strip club in FORCED VENGANCE (the CN film) and it was less perverted than americas top model.

yo dio la vida, mi vida, yo odio a yo mismo, mis padres son conyos pero que se va hacer, ay da me descanzo de todo esto

liquid swords

2006-03-09T02:51:16Z

wu tang are ill, i just got liquid swords from wes (genious and gza) soo good man, i as hannah have had an intyerest in the gangsta style, especially rap cause theres actually alot of good shit out there.

just watched city of god again for my lit essay, and its one of the best movies ever

no meu llamo lel duidu meu llamo ze pequeno ahora puha

what a gangsta movie, those poverty stricken brazilians are more gangsta then anyone in forest hill/rosedale they know how to pimp it up and make the best of their situation.

people today were talking about prom and it got me thinking, shit i dunno who i's gonna take, i dont even know where to begin to decide (not in a sense that i have a wide variety) whatever i guess ill figure something out, till all come together in the end

and i think im gonna go to the next semi, the reason i want to go is actually just to dance, i like dancing its super fun, especially if your partner is good at it, maybe ill pull a gangsta move and bottle someone there to make it all worth while.

like i dont even know what im doing here

2006-03-03T04:06:34Z

things change alot and fast, randomly things change, its pretty crazy, i mean life is uinpredictable. i dont even know what to think anymore, thinking about this kinda stuff starts to get me down. i like to chill, and its been chill, its all good just finished my bio isu, what a releif just cgotta cruise it to the end which is not far away.

the future interests me, its obviously not gonna work out like i planned it, im interested to see whats gonna happen, i guess i feel good about life.

ughh i hate lj, theres a hilarious article by jim goad in the new vice issue that makes fun of my space and whores, in the same article, gasp!

get your hands off my lapelle, because i think its time to go

2006-02-26T18:40:20Z

i got those shoes man, their so nice, much nicer than that picture, but their ill suede shoes. you wont see me wearing them till spring though, i got another pair of vans for now, their fairly nice also, anyways thought you should know, haha

oh king of dreams

2006-02-24T02:55:59Z

interests

1. sandman
2. we are scientists

sandman is ill, so good, crazy ass story lines, sick drawing, super cool main character

we are scientists, sick badn check em out if you can, really good, listening to love and squalor alot, its good

it hurts

2006-02-20T23:19:24Z

it hurts, during english i drew what i felt, and it hurt, i liked her so much, there is still small hope but most of it has been crushed.

ive had bad luck recently, but it just hurts so much now cause i genuinely liked her.

why, is the question always asked, and i wont get an answer.

i really wanted to be with her, i guess i wont.

ive been waiting for so long

2006-02-17T02:18:42Z

i have thought about this so much yet i cannot find an answer.

why do i have this deep emotional love of the music the mars volta make. it is music unlike anything ive heard before (well not completely) but its so unique and fresh and progressive and psychodelic, and so complex. It has so much raw emotion in it.

whenever i listen to them they hit a spot in the darkness of my furthest reaches, it fills me with this feeling of uncomparable beuty and depth. i do not understand why.

i do not understand how a thing that doesnt really exist (music is abstract) can touch me so deeply, how it can infuse itself with my mind and make everything so good.

whenever i listen to them it is a love i feel towards them, every note they play is sooo good, beyond good, its almost prefect.

i dont understand why i love them so much

i also adore jon theodore, he is the drummer i most idolize, its probably because of him that ive even gotten as good as i am, he plays such intricate and groocy patters, yet he plays them at insane speeds. he has made me such a better drummer even from just watching and listening to him.

someones in the wolfe

2006-02-09T01:41:30Z

yeah i read that essay tom wolfe wrote about starting from zero and the 21 st century (thanks to the other DK) and i also want to write a peice about modern thought, the state of the world and why it is that way, i mean in lit and mod west we're learning all the stuff that contributed to modern society, up to WWII. and in lit the whole colonialism issue (which very well shows the attitude of europeans towards humanity) and the shit tom wolfe said got me thinking, why are things the way they are, why does modern society view these things the way it does, shit like that. and about the future of human perception and where it seems to be going, itd be kinda boring as a rag but interesting to us nerds.

i got over tghe whole depression thing, it feels good to be me again anyway peace

go listen to some rick james bitches

all alone/white light

2006-02-06T02:33:08Z

another thing ive been feeling lately is a huge detachment from the world, and from people. people just seem to be detaching from me, i think this is probably a result of tons of weed smoking makes you too introspective, too withdrawn. whatever.

i dunno seems like the world is just falling away, people faces words mean little, i find solace in music only, theres something so deep about music.

vein_melter @ 2006-02-04T19:08:00

2006-02-05T00:15:09Z

i was sitting in lit class then it dawned on me, i realized what that really nerdy dude in waking life was talking about, the telescoping of evolution, its not fresh in my mind but ill write what i remember

before what was taaught in school was the truth and the only truth. now we are being taught that everything has many truths. like the tempest, today its analyzed way more in depth than shakespeare intended, and some of the symbols and comparisons could not have existed in shakespeares time.

and in the past things were seen in a specific manner if you were a scholar. now each generation that learns something interprets it in their own way, so the view of shakespear is changing, ever faster too, each generation has a different outlook on life, and that outlook shapes the knowledge.

20 years from now, shakespeare will not be viewed the same way it is today, its all changing much faster. i mean look at ages of maturation. puberty is hitting kids much younger especially girls. whether this is gmf's or hormones in food i dunno. but even forget biology, kids are having sex at younger and younger ages ages, they know more about adult life at younger and younger ages. its all telescoping until the point when we can see major evolutionary changes in a persons lifetime.